


Twenty Times Buffy Saw

by nausicaa_of_phaeacia



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: 19+1 Things, 20 Things, Buffy's perspective, Canon, Drabble Collection, F/M, Gen, Hints at future possibilities, List of Giles/Buffy moments, Post "Chosen", Post Season 07, Post Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 06:17:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nausicaa_of_phaeacia/pseuds/nausicaa_of_phaeacia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title is self-explanatory. This is a collection of briefly described moments, constructed like a list. Nothing explicit, but you're welcome to read things into it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twenty Times Buffy Saw

**Author's Note:**

> An idea I had in the middle of the night. I own all mistakes, sorry for those I've possibly overlooked. Written in one go.

**Twenty Times Buffy Saw**

 

I. 

When, not yet allowing herself to accept the prophecy he has repeated to her, turning around to go and find her 'potential friend' who has been captured, his almost timid question reminding her to be careful makes her turn and look at him for a moment, and she thinks she sees.

II.

When she looks him in the eye, furiously but calculatingly, right before knocking him unconscious in his defense, determined to fight alone, she catches a glimpse of what he tries to wordlessly tell her, but doesn't want to think about it, even though she sees. 

III.

When, at the cemetery, he tells her about guys who are stalwart and those who have pointy horns and she can't help but feel oddly safe, she briefly turns around to unnecessarily expose his lies, and she sees.

IV.

When, in the library, he raises his chin, jaws clenched, to retort, his posture suggesting that there's nothing he'd rather do than jump at the pompous and sadistic one, she, weak and betrayed, looks into his eyes and sees.

V.

When, after doing her job once again, she arrives at the ball nevertheless, she catches his smile across the whole room, speaking volumes and volumes of things neither of them is ever going to say out aloud, she sees.

VI.

When she half-carries him out, suddenly all too aware of the fire, and then punches him in the jaw, only to fall onto her knees next to him to hold his shaking body, she doesn't look, but sees.

VII.

When he jumps up, the sword in his unwavering left, dashing forward to pierce the smug one boasting about her probably providing his next meal, she looks in awe, words suddenly stuck in her throat, and she sees.

VIII.

When he hands her the diploma, and she pretends to be on the cognitive level of 'fire-bad, tree-pretty', noticing his eyes twinkle and almost taking a step back from him, she wishes she had words, and she sees.

IX.

When she lets the slightly stained letter opener sink and carefully slides off of him, later recognizing the look in his eyes as the one she saw when bent over him in combat mode, she sees, but can't categorize.

X.

When he pours the tea, the sleeve of his blue pullover brushing the kettle very slightly, and she asks him what she should have asked an eternity ago, she almost doesn't dare to look him in the eye, but she sees.

XI.

When, after her glorious speech, insisting on the 'retroactive' part of the deal, she turns around to him, with the others clapping, she looks him straight in the eye and sees; she sees what she has seen not long before, having explained to him the gravity of the blackmail against her.

XII.

When she rants to him, whining, worrying, rambling about her potential inablitity to love, she is, of course, far too preoccupied with concern about herself, that's why she can't find it in herself to grasp the possible absurdity of it all, but before he answers her, his voice a little unsteady, she sees.

XIII.

When she holds his hand, scared to fracture his fingers because she's holding onto them so strongly, fighting her tears as he confesses to her that she has reached beyond all his expectations, the smile he still manages to produce makes her tremble, and she sees.

XIV.

When she flings herself at him in the shop, not faltering for even a split-second, to be held by him as if it was life itself he was clinging on to, the radiance of his joy carefully starting to warm her still unaccustomed body, she sees volumes and volumes in his eyes once again, and, swallowing but smiling, she sees.

XV.

When he sits on the sofa in the workout room, making her jump up with his announcement, trying to find a reason to convince him, and then, not to smack him as she tries to imagine even a week without the reassurance of his availability, and of his wit and strength, she sees, but she is too furious to allow herself to try to comprehend his reasoning.

XVI.

When she lifts her head, after being struck down and flung against the shelves and table, as soon as she can, mesmerized in the same moment by the voice which she recognizes even before the sight of his silhouette in the doorway, she can't be sure if the impact of the blow is playing a trick on her, but she sees.

XVII.

When they both burst out laughing, after her blurting out the shortest possible summary of personal apocalypses he has missed out on, realizing the absurdity of it all, remembering the hug they shared earlier after his remark about her hair, their bodies shaking incontrollably in wild fits of unrestrained, paradox joy, their eyes meet, and she sees.

XVIII.

When, again, she finds an entrance to a level below in a Christmas tree lot, and crunches down through wooden slats, she suddenly realizes she hears something in his voice as he makes her state she's doing 'peachy', something she has actually heard countless times, and she sees.

XIX.

When she turns to shut the door on him, telling him that the plan to kill off the undead one failed, throwing at his face that he's taught her everything she needs to know, she sees, that's right, she sees but doesn't want to.

 **XX.**  
When she turns around from the crater, the others having left the two of them standing at the edge of a huge nothing, she directs the small smile that has crept onto her lips at him, catching his gaze, and lights up even more as she finds her expression mirrored. She firmly looks into his green eyes and remembers all she has seen in them; she reaches out to cup his cheek with her hand, their eyes still locked, and realizes that, finally, she understands. And he finds himself discover a sudden gentleness, this unexpected and contagious spark in her eyes which, as much as he instinctively tells himself he has to, he can't misunderstand.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :) Hope I made all the moments from the series clearly recognizable.  
> ... Oh, and feedback is ambrosia.


End file.
